I like to ask questions. Mostly, I ask them of myself as I struggle to negotiate life. It is so interesting that in my work life, I will take action and ask for forgiveness later, but in my personal life, it is just the opposite. At times this has crippled me as I worry about judgment about my actions. Why? Where did this come from? More importantly, how do I lay it aside.
Obviously, at some point, someone criticized my efforts as not acceptable. So rather than force me to learn and adjust, they evaluated my every action. To this day, that voice is in my head. It has no place there but it lives there. I know that was not its original intent but none-the-less it resides within my psyche.
Rather than lay blame, I need to look internally and disregard that judgment. My efforts and accomplishments need only to live up to my own scrutiny and expectations. It is up to me to deliver the best product possible.
Through effort of will, I can release any feelings I have about anyone’s judgment of me. Ultimately, it is up to me to judge my efforts.